April 21st, 2006
Motorola Patents a New Theraputic Vibrating Phone
By Alice Hill
RealTechNews
Ah patent law….who knew that writing about it would be so entertaining and infuriating at the same time? We have covered patents on the cup and string phone, the emoticon, and today, a new type of vibrating phone from Motorola that would use elctrical pulses to stimulate the skin and rid the nearby people of that annoying buzzing sound today’s crude and non-theraputic vibrating phones produce.
The stimulator pads of the present invention can, in addition to the uses stated above for notification, be used for therapeutic stimulation of the various epidermal and subcutaneous areas of the wearer’s body. The stimulus patterns can be manually programmed into the device by the user, selected from a programmed list of patterns in the device or, alternatively, can be downloaded to the device from, for example, a doctor’s website or in-office computer by a therapist. In this way, the patterns that provide the most therapeutic benefits can be provided to the user.
We Say: Shucks, this one writes itself, she says blushing. Insert your own vibration, theraputic joke here and then go and read the patent application yourself.
Mart says:
Alice - Call me.
Oops, missed your call, could you call me again?
Darn, missed it again. One more time. Please???
April 21st, 2006 at 7:15 am
Alice says:
Sorry I missed you call. I had my phone on theraputic vibrate and didn’t hear it.
April 21st, 2006 at 7:24 am
Stan says:
I’m sorry I missed your call… I was jerking off in the bathroom and didn’t hear my phone theraputically virbrating in the other room…
April 21st, 2006 at 7:48 am
Anonymous says:
Motorola Patents a New Theraputic Vibrating Phone
Motorola patents a new theraputic vibrating phone. Ick!
April 21st, 2006 at 7:53 am
Tony says:
Future news article: “Local woman sues motorola for third degree burns. Jane Doe of Anywhere USA is sueing electronics company Motorola for thirds degree burns she suffered while drinking coffee at an area diner. Ms. Doe claims that while taking a sip of her favorite beverage, her new mobile phone from Motorola (which was set to theraputic vibrate) rang in her pocket, startling her and effectively spilling her java.” moral of the story no therapy in your pants while drinking hot liquids
April 21st, 2006 at 9:18 am
Bill M says:
I suppose the drawing is of a proof-of-concept and the shipping model would be shaped more…..ergonomically.
April 21st, 2006 at 9:32 am
Markizzle says:
If I were a rectal doctor, I’d invest heavily in this phone. Then they could reap the rewards on both ends!
April 21st, 2006 at 9:41 am
Rootman says:
Theraputic, yep, uhhu, theraputic.
April 21st, 2006 at 10:09 am
Joe says:
And people think driving and talking on the cell is bad right now! Try driving, talking, and getting “therapeutically vibrated”!
April 21st, 2006 at 10:38 am
Tiffany says:
I am gonna have to agree with Tony on this one! Sounds like trouble waiting to happen. And not to mention that some phones tend to be hot after a call. Oops, I put it in my pocket, then it vibrated again and now I’m in pain.
April 21st, 2006 at 11:05 am
Mad Mike says:
If this make it to market, there are going to be some strange stories told in emergency rooms all over the world.
April 21st, 2006 at 11:48 am
Rob says:
Is that a Theraputic Vibrating Phone in your pocket or are you happy to see me?
April 21st, 2006 at 12:06 pm
Alice says:
Will these phones cause cancer in your nether regions? Here come the conflicting safety studies.
April 21st, 2006 at 1:11 pm
streaming live @ www.area108.com says:
Is it ribbed for her pleasure? How long will it take someone to come up with “attachments”?
April 21st, 2006 at 1:32 pm
Gord says:
Why don’t we just call it what it is, masturbation for the new millennium.
April 21st, 2006 at 1:55 pm
Mart says:
Will we have a craving for a smoke after every call?
April 22nd, 2006 at 8:44 am